Guess what guess what?! Finals are FINALly over!!! I leave tomorrow morning and I couldn’t be more thrilled for a break. Except – this is an 8-month break from the place that I love.
I went for my last walk on campus today, and I thought of something I told a friend at the beginning of the semester. I’ve lived a lot of places and I call a lot of places home, but Vanderbilt is one place where I don’t have to try to make that happen. I am 100% me here. I know every inch of this campus, and it knows me right back. It knows where I’ve cried, where I’ve laughed, where I’ve walked and talked with friends and where I’ve walked and talked with God. It’s where I learned what I love doing, it’s where I decided what to do with the rest of my life, it’s my dream come true. It’s where my community is, it’s where my friends are, it’s where my heart is. And I am voluntarily giving all of that up to go to Argentina next semester.
And right now, I am terrified. I cried as I walked across campus for the last time for a long time this afternoon. I don’t want to go somewhere new. I want to stay right here where it’s comfortable and never let this place and these moments go.
Isn’t that how life feels for a lot of us? It’s safe here and it’s comfortable and there might be something better on the other side, but why go look if you might loose what you already had?
My answer is because God’s called me too. It’s not a coincidence my scholarship covered the exact cost of the trip, it’s not a coincidence I stuck with Spanish in college, and it’s not a coincidence that out of the 6 people going to Buenos Aires from Vandy, I know three of them. It’s because God has a plan for me, a chance to do something not everyone gets to do, an adventure of a lifetime planned, and it’s in Argentina.
As I was struggling to stay positive on my walk this afternoon, I stopped by the post office to pick up my mail one last time, and I had a Christmas card from my friend Rebekah. Rebekah is also a history major who studied abroad last semester and a lovely person, and we’ve had several classes together. In her letter, she told me how excited she was for me, but she also said this – “I hope that from the time you arrive to the time you leave you love every minute, but if at any point you don’t, don’t worry.”
HEY GOD. You ever have those moments where you just look up and go, okay, hey God – I hear you, that was truth. Rebekah’s words are exactly the truth I needed to hear in that moment, and I am so grateful. I hope that from the time the plane touches down to the minute it takes off again, I enjoy every moment – but if I don’t, if it’s hard, if I miss it here – that’s how you grow, that’s how you learn, and that’s where God provides. And I can’t wait to see how He does so in just a few months!